Feel Free to F*ck Up



 The words of a wise friend.  Fact is I hadn’t thought of it this way.  I have messed up so many times in my life.  The biggest and latest of which was my leaving my job as a teacher because I was afraid.  Yes, you read that right.  I was afraid.  I had gone through post Partum depression so bad after the birth of my first child that when I found myself pregnant with my second I quit my career job in Toronto and ran back to my mommy.  I was terrified that the big black monster would return and this time there would be no escape.  I would permanently f*ck up my children, my marriage and very likely destroy myself in the process. 

I didn’t know at the time I was screwing up.  I made the best decision for everyone, and I naively thought I would find a comparable job just as quickly in my home city.  Ha.  Was I ever wrong.  Nearly 7 years later I have yet to find a job to equal the one I left behind.  

For a good five years I regretted that f*ck up.  And you know what? I attracted nothing but more failure, more regret and more heartache. 

You might be wondering where I am going with this.  

I am beginning to realize that it was on this very path that I have learned how to honour who I am.  I have learned how to forgive.  Others yes, but more Importantly, myself.  I don’t regret it so much anymore.  I accept the pain and the regret because my growth is worth that price.  

I am a softer person, a wiser wife and a more authentic human for all that I learned.  

I had to f*ck up you see.  The path I am on needed to take a hard left to arrive at this place. 

And you know what? 

The future has never looked brighter😏


**a note to share with you my dear readers that this post was composed and uploaded while riding the bus 🙂 **

2 thoughts on “Feel Free to F*ck Up

Add yours

  1. I feel like this article was written for me. I think it’s so important to acknowledge mistakes but more importantly to acknowledge how they are learnings in life in which we rise above them and create better lives for ourselves. Beautifully written. I couldn’t agree more with you. Everyone has been there at some time in their life. Loved this!

    1. I am so glad it resonated with you. I agree that it’s how we frame our lives that decide how we live our lives. We NEED mistakes and failures. How would be grow or learn without them? 🙂

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