I recently read an article about The Collapse of Modern Parenting. It was definitely an interesting read, and it gave me a lot to think about.
Modern parenting is definitely in a state of change.
Is that change a collapse? I am not so sure.
Dr. Sax, the expert that is heavily cited in this article, points to this collapse for children being “overweight, overmedicated, anxious and disrespectful of themselves and those around them.” For anyone who cares to look, these are accurate observations, but I am not so sure that what is to blame is a “collapse” of parenting.
I would take it in a slightly different direction.
I do feel that modern parenting is undergoing an evolution. We do not want to parent our children the way that we were raised by and large. The authoritarian parenting techniques of our childhood just don’t seem to fit with the direction we are choosing to head as individuals and as a society. Is it a bad thing that we are choosing to dismantle hierarchies. question authority and respect our children as human beings from a very young age? I would say not.
We are coming up against some challenges though, this much is certain.
Andrea Nair, a psychotherapist and parenting educator in London, Ont. explains it this way “We’re trying to pull off the emotion coaching but we haven’t received the training, it’s like teaching your kids to speak French while you’re learning it in the textbook.”
This much I would say is definitely true.
Our generation is working redefine everything right down to the way we parent our children. The trouble is that we lack the skills and training that we need to pull this off with the level of mastery required to make it successful. And we really don’t have that much tolerance for failure. Our parenting confidence is dangerously low and this is leading to depression and anxiety in record numbers amongst our community.
Community, that’s another thing.
In an age of dual parent working families, and smart phones, we are more disconnected than ever from the flesh and blood community that historically surrounded families that we rearing children. We had camaraderie and support when dealing with the hugely challenging role of parent. Most people present a shiny picture of their lives on Facebook, and hide their struggles. This causes those who are struggling which, let’s face it, is most of us, to believe that we are absolutely alone in our struggles. Hello depression and anxiety.
I propose that instead of believing that we are alone, we recognize that parenting is HARD for everyone and that we reach out. I propose that we realize that not only are we parenting our own kids, we are recreating what it means to parent. I further propose that we come together, talk about our struggles, share our solutions and raise parenting from collapse into evolution.
This is a much less grim picture, and we grow much stronger from hope than we do from fear and shame.
The future is ours to create. We as parents do this through how we raise our children, and how we raise ourselves.
Keep coming back here to read more about how to raise your parenting, raise yourself, and raise your kids. Together, we will raise the future.
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xo mamas ❤
** image credit – Chris Fertnig