Dear Mama….. Choose Life


It will cost you your life.

Is being a martyr worth your life?

Is being the perfect mom worth dying twenty years earlier than you potentially could have survived because you had a heart attack at age 50?

Is approval worth that much to you?

Because that is the risk you are taking by putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own. You are risking your own life.

Your children will have to say good bye to you that much earlier because you valued every one else’s happiness more than you valued your own  health and well being.

You will not meet your grandchildren.

Your parents will have to bury their child.

All because you didn’t have the courage to show up for yourself, and do the work of self discovery and self healing that leads to self care and self love.

Is your living out your own low self worth in a pagent of exhaustion and self harm sacrifice so valuable to you that you are willing to sacrifice twenty or thirty years of your life?

I truly hope that the answer is no.

I know you think that you are doing the best you can, that you are living out your love for your children and your family in your self sacrifice. I know that you believe that this is what you should be doing. And I know that you believe the sacrifice is a righteous one. I know you believe it is the reason why your children love you, and if you stop, they will stop loving you.

I know that you are doing this to earn the love and approval that you are so desperately searching for.

And I know that you won’t find it this way.

I know that the love you need is the love that you are withholding from yourself.


You are worth the courage it takes to face your demons, conquer your fears and start to live a life of purpose fuelled by self love.


Give up this destructive pursuit of perfection. Put down your armour of worthlessness and your shield of perfectionism, and dance in the uncertainty and discomfort of vulnerability. It’s beautiful and raw and magical. It is your birthright.

Not only will you survive, you will begin to abide in the places and feelings and practices that will lead you to thrive.

Your family will not fall apart.  You being the hero and taking care of EVERYTHING is leaving no room for then to step up and become their own hero, and yours while they are at it.

Be brave.

The time is now.

Tomorrow is not promised.

I love you.



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