Resistance is what Growth feels like​

Resistance feels like shit. 

It feels heavy and dark and sad. It feels like all the things you want to run away from. It feels crammed with shit and at the same time devoid of any meaning. It is paradoxically cacophonous and eerily silent. It’s utterly suffocating. 

Sometimes it manifests as writer’s block. Sometimes it manifests as procrastination. Others it manifests as perfectionism, and not being willing to publish what you wrote. 

It makes you want to hide, quit, run away. 

It speaks excuses out of your mouth that sound justified, and reasonable, excuses that no one would question. Resistance wants to be babied, held, coddled, and told it’s okay to quit. It wants the key to the locked door that is keeping you trapped. 

It weighs a million pounds. 

It tells you incredibly believable stories about why you are completely justified to not write, or workout, or parent, or care today. 

It is also usually completely full of shit. 

If you listen to resistance, you will stay small. 

You won’t publish your first blog or social post. 

You will sabotage growth and continually have to start over from step one. 

You won’t publish your book. 

You may not ever even start your book, let alone finish it. 

You will stay stuck. 

As humans we chase pleasure, and why not? Pleasure feels good, but life is not a one trick pony. 

I like to think about resistance like the life of a seed. It’s not intended or designed to be a seed forever. Within that seed is the potential for a plant. Maybe a tree or a flower or a tomato. In order to become, that seed has to completely unbecome everything it is. It has to crack the fuck open, which can’t feel good, and then expand against the pressure of the earth that it is buried in, constantly pushing its way through the dark soil against ceaseless resistance until it breaks through to the sunlight and fresh air. 

Resistance is what growth feels like. 

We call it bad. We don’t like it because it doesn’t feel great and triggers us into our old bullshit. 

Here’s the truth. 

If you want to grow, you will feel resistance. They are inextricably linked, inseparable. 

If you are going through resistance right now, I see you. I feel you. I have so many stories of resistance myself that I will share some of in the podcast on this blog post. (I will link to this as soon as it’s done and posted 🙂 )

For now, here is my favourite Mel Robbins TED Talk called “How to stop screwing yourself over”. I use what she talks about here over and over to help me get through resistance, short circuit self-sabotage and keep going on my path. 

I am in resistance today too, That is why I am writing this for you because I am you. 

With love, 

Steph

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